Why DO men fall in love? I mean we’re supposed to be emotionless bricks that don’t waver at all, right? Our chances at falling in love are even slimmer than us being decent, respectful, human beings. Of course, I jest here. I’m not being serious at all. Men fall in love and we fall in love hard. If you’re questioning why they don’t then perhaps you just haven’t met the right one yet. Maybe it’s time to stop tarring the minuscule few with the wider population, would you agree?
What is love? Well, this answer I will bet varies from person to person. Someone that has only known abusive relationships might say that loving another is knowing that you’re alive. The emotional turmoil involved with relationships is a way to know that he or she cares. You could ask a teenager what love means and they could say it’s just being present in each others lives. At that age the mind isn’t fully developed and there are little to no responsibilities on a younger person.
I remember as a teenager, thinking, when my hormones were raging and anything that wore a skirt was fair game, that how the hell am I going to fall in love when there’s so much selection out there? There are SO many pretty women and yet we only have to choose one of them? That was a hard choice, when all I wanted to do as a teenager was to spread my seed and run wild.
Personally, for me, if you had asked me fifteen years ago what love was then I’d have given you a completely different answer. I was raised in an abusive household; my dad, the man that I was supposed to look up to, where I would get all my worldly knowledge from was an abuser and Narcissist. I was a broken young man, and to me relationships were co-dependence; where one cannot survive without another. To break up is for the whole world to end.
I’ve had a few relationships like this in the past. One woman that lived in Florida. It was a long distance relationship but boy did it feel right. We spent almost every waking moment on the phone with each other. This was a nurturing co-dependent relationship (if that is even a thing), because she helped me with a great few things in my life, yet at the same time I began isolating myself from all my friends and family. To me, this was the best thing that I had in life at the time and it was my version of love. Who was anyone to devalue or take that away from me? Friends told me it was wrong, but it didn’t feel like it.
Now love is different for me, though. I’m Married and have an eight year old son. My version has completely changed. Love to me is choosing to be with my partner even although I know I’d be perfectly fine on my own. It’s a togetherness I can’t possibly describe in words, it’s a unison of two that completes one another so perfectly that words on a screen couldn’t possibly do it any justice. It’s a love of both extensions of my life (my wife and son) that completes me in ways I couldn’t possibly imagine fifteen years ago, and I’d do anything; die if need be, to protect their future.
We’re traditionalists, my wife and I. Some may call it sexist, but we’ve chosen to exist in the way that we do, and that to me is fine. My wife, all she ever wanted out of life was to be a mother. She’s seen many things; travelled the world, headed up her own businesses, but she wanted to get all of that out of the way before she settled down. Me? I’d have never imagined myself being happy in a household where I work and the wife keeps the house in order. I was raised better than that; my Mum taught me better values, that women could go out to work, and that women could do just as much as men could, and they can, but nothing had prepared me for experiencing a hard days work and coming home to a cooked dinner, and my smiling Son. It makes me rather complete. This is what we have wrong in society in my opinion, we try and compete against one another. Women in top jobs, equal or better pay in the workplace, but we forget that we work better together as we complete each others’ faults rather than run side by side.
Men fall in love in many different ways. In my opinion, some, like me, are lucky enough to have what I call healthy love. Others range from co-dependence to outright Narcissism. One could argue that Narcissists don’t particularly love, but I think we love in our own weird and wonderful ways. But we love, and that’s the main point to take away from this. And we love hard.
There’s a big stigma geared towards men and love and I think it’s the 1% that gives the 99% a really bad name. For example; wherever a woman ventures she’s more than likely going to meet the 1% of men that absolutely don’t give a fuck about who they approach and how they do it. They’re so comfortable talking to women because they’ve done it a million times and if you were to tell him to get lost he won’t take it personally, he’ll just move onto his next try. The other 99% are waiting, trying not to come off as a total creep when doing so, and if he does, then he’s more than likely going to be uncomfortable out of his fear of appearing uncomfortable. SO many people get this wrong. Men that are totally comfortable talking to you after approaching a woman only once are not the type of people you want to meet. Look for nervousness, shyness, uncomfortableness. Good men aren’t “in the zone” hitting up people they like. Some men will never approach women. But that’s a post for another day.
Why does a man love? Because he can. Men have a wealth of love to give; you just need to let them love you.